Heartbeat Press - January 2023 Edition

Green Umbrellas and Dead Sara - Two Tales of Hidden Grief 

    In Fall 2007, singer and former child star Britney Spears was chased from her Beverly Hills home though the streets of L.A. by paparazzi jockeying for candid photos of the twenty-six year old. Having all but disappeared from the public eye after abandoning her tour schedule, getting married, and having two children, Spears' personal life had become a keen point of interest for fans who had begun to wonder what had happened to her. They missed her music, but they were also concerned for her well-being. Rumors abounded, courtesy of the Hollywood tabloids, that Spears had become mentally stable, based on erratic behavior and "wild" partying from the year before. Pictures captured by the paparazzi when they finally caught up with the singer at a local gas station only seemed to confirm that gossip. Their photos depict an irate and bald-headed Britney confronting them with a wild look in her eyes before turning to attack their car with, of all things, a bright green umbrella that she brandished like a battle axe. Swinging her weapons multiple times, she barely dented the vehicle but did permanent damage to her reputation once the photos were published. 

    In a moment, everyone "knew" that Britney was unhinged and, apparently, spiraling rapidly into early destruction like dozens of other child stars who had gone before her. But, rabid for the drama that Spears' behavior and subsequent public breakdown gifted them, the media, and, by default her fans, neglected to look beyond her behavior to see if there was a deeper root to her mania. If they had, they would have discovered that Britney's anger went far beyond and had, in fact, started long before the green umbrella ever made its debut.

    Unbeknownst to the media or her fans, but later detailed in her book The Woman in Me, Britney was dealing with a litany of issues that was wearing on her physical and mental health. She had spent years in the limelight with no respite, she was in the middle of a messy and custody-threatening divorce, and nearly a decade before (during her whirlwind romance with fellow teen star Justine Timberlake) Britney had had an abortion that weighed heavily, if unknowingly, on her soul. Recounting the event, the singer revealed that she had wanted to keep the baby and most likely would have if Timberlake hadn't insisted that she terminate the pregnancy. Spears wrote, "But, Justin definitely wasn't happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren't ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young." Hopelessly devoted to the boy she thought was her prince charming, Britney trusted that he had her best interests in mind and took an abortion pill that killed her child and made her sick for an entire day. Spears admitted that in the moment she regretted the decision and, though she has championed the Pro-Choice stance every since, she wrote that, "To this day, it's one of the most agonizing things I have ever experienced in my life."

    Spears' story is not uncommon for Hollywood and, in fact, the industry is overrun with the abortion agenda as it aids the "glamorous" and "independent" lifestyle the entertainment industry promises. As a result, hundreds of celebrities have had abortions, sacrificing their children to build their careers, though many would never admit they endured the procedure. Despite the narrative that abortion is empowering, once an individual has experienced it, she is forever cursed with the understanding of its horror. Never again can she discuss abortion without remembering the grief of her own. Deep down, she will always feel the absence of her child (even if she "didn't want it") and that pain will inevitably seep into her work.

    In 1979, artist and lead Fleetwood Mac vocalist Stevie Nicks wrote the song "Sara" for the band's "Tusk" album. The six-minute song is dour and haunting with a heartbeat-like bass line that could be interpreted as an outpouring of grief, a thought Nicks confirmed in an interview with LifeNews, where she revealed the song was about a baby she conceived and then aborted with Eagles singer Don Henly. Nicks said, "Had I married Don and had that baby, and had she been a girl, I would have named her Sara..." Fearing that her burgeoning career would be hamstrung by a child and thoroughly steeped in Hollywood's agenda, Nicks convinced herself that disposing of it was the best option, and yet her account of the experience reveals that it stayed with her for decades.

    Strong women have routinely proven that unexpected children are not burdens to their lives. On the contrary, children often improve and broaden their mothers' world tenfold. And yet the abortion industry is allowed to warp that truth under the guise of health care, a care that contradicts the meaning of the word by killing children and leaving women with agonizing and volatile hidden grief that is written off as a "necessary evil" of empowerment.  

Sources: The Woman in Me, LifeNews.com, Wikipedia

Photo Credit: Los Angeles Times, Vogue (edited by Polish Photo Editor)

The Music Man

Who remembers The Music Man, a musical full of great songs and cheesy but memorable characters? For those who haven't seen it, here's the back story: A traveling salesman by the name of Professor Harold Hill comes to a humdrum Iowa town to sell band instruments and uniforms, promising to teach the boys who join the band to play music. All the while, he plans to get as much money as possible and then cut and run. Unlike many salesmen, Harold actually cares about his customers, so when a lonely boy and a stubborn librarian tug on his heart strings, he starts to feel guilty about his former plans. He truly cares about music and gets the whole town loving it too. The movie truly shows how one music man can give melody to an entire town. Who can forget that final scene as Harold Hill leads his boys' band through the streets? The spectacle is enough to make Harold Hill the one and only music man forever.

But now I would like to introduce another music man, not quite as famous as Harold Hill but just as talented - and maybe more so. Here is a young man in the Kiel Municipal Band. He is tall and handsome; his straight shoulders are set off by his smooth black hair. This young man is the drum major and he holds the staff high and pumps it up with a great passion. He is Gerald Hollenbeck, and he is my grandpa. Being the drum major is more than just marching in front of the band waving a big fancy stick. The drum major keeps time for the whole band; they watch him bob the staff up and down and they know the timing. Without the drum major, there would be no order or discipline in a band and no one would be in synch. The drum major is the life and soul of every band and it took real determination to lead it.

Picture the following scene: The Kiel Municipal Band was scheduled to give a marching performance down Church Street and all over New Holstein. But on the day of the event, it began to rain cats and dogs. Normally under these circumstances, the band would disperse and play another day. But instead of dismissing them, my grandpa took up his staff and led the band out into the pouring rain. They marched down Church Street as planned, my grandpa pumping the staff the whole way. Not many people came out to watch the waterlogged band, but they could still hear the music, the wonderful music that the music man led. My Grandpa is the real music man; music was his life and life was his music. He could find a melody in a drop of rain or the whistle of a train. The music he led was already great but he made it marvelous. The music man, the height of pride, melody, and the marching band. My Music Man!